The Booty and the Brain: Using Sphincter Law to Relax into Anal Play

By Maile

Happy Anal August!

Last week I had a chance to chat with femme domme and doula, Goddess Erica, and it inspired me to reflect on the ways that my background as a birth doula can apply to my work and exploration of sexuality and kink.

What is Sphincter Law?

Sphincter Law is a term coined by midwife Ina May Gaskin and the basis is described as the following:

Breathe In….Breathe Out

If you’ve seen any depiction of birthing class or Lamaze in the media, you’re probably familiar with the old trope of labor breathing that goes something like ‘hee-hee-whooooo’.

Diving in…Head First

In the study of birthing women, prominent researchers such as Michel Odent have found that the hormone cascade required for birth (oxytocin, endorphins and prolactin) is directly affected by the birthing parent’s feelings of safety and security in their surroundings. These hormones are produced in the neocortex of the brain, and outside stimulation to the neocortex can have a direct impact on the body’s ability to relax.

  • Talk about your concerns. If you have specific fears (pain, embarrassment etc), talk about that with your partner(s). Being prepared for how you’ll handle emotions and sensations as they come up can help alleviate anxiety
  • Prep your materials: have everything you’ll need ready to go and nearby so you don’t have to worry about that stuff in the moment- toys, plugs, LUBE, LUBE, LUBE (seriously, don’t forget the lube) can all be stored close by for easy access

‘We can’t turn our backs on our bottoms’

Trying new things like anal play can feel a bit nerve-racking, and can also bring excitement, fun and curiosity to your sex life. There are many different forms of butt play — if you’re still not sure where to begin, download #open and check out the bootylicious hashtags that members are using! You may find interests that you’d never considered before; some of our favs include: #buttstuff, #analaugust, #prostateplay; #assworship!

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